Most of the time SB Nation blogs are either celebrating their teams or giving deep analysis as to where their teams can improve. But things have gotten so bad for Chivas USA and Toronto FC in Major League Soccer, that the two blogs covering them were left with only one option. They had to hold a Dysfunctional Olympics.
Yup, Waking The Red, representing Tornto FC, and The Goat Parade, representing Chivas USA, got together to settle the issue once and for all. Which organization was the most dysfunctional. To give you an idea of how bad it is, take this quote from Waking The Red:
There are very few things that can give consolation to long suffering Toronto FC fans, but a consistent one over the years has been the ability to look over to the Western Conference and think, well at least we're not Chivas USA fans. Let's not kid ourselves though, I'm sure they're doing the exact same thing, using TFC as a sign that it could be worse. Since TFC's introduction to the league in 2007, there have been other teams that have struggled on the pitch, other teams that have fought with their fans and other teams that have taken a shot at the crazy crown, Philadelphia 2012, I'm looking at you. But for all round, consistent, year after year, self defeating suckitude, there's only two contenders.
Yikes! So the two blogs battled it out in five categories: Ownership, Coach Turnover, Player Turnover, Fan Relations and Media/PR Gaffes. Some of the examples are really hard to believe. The Goat Parade gives an example of PR Gaffes from Chivas USA:
They have been releasing press releases and articles on the team's website in English and Spanish, which I think is great...except they need to move away from the google translate-quality translations on the English portions. And they did not do a great job of translating a Spanish term in the preseason, calling training camp "concentration camp" with apparently no awareness of what that term means in English.
You really should take the time to read through all the competitive quotes and vote for a champion.
So just be happy if your team isn't one of these two. But I bet there are plenty of more organizations that could compete in the Dysfunctional Olympics. Maybe we'll have to create a cross-sport tournament.
Yeah, that could be fun. Any suggestions for other contenders?